Present, future and past

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As I sit once more and think about the future and what the hell I want to happen in it I get this weird sense of déjà vu. It’s crazy to think that I’ve been here before because there is no logical way that I can have been, and the scientist part of me (which keeps growing stronger lately) tells me that this idea is impossible. However I like to think that the reason I am finding it so hard to decide what to do with my life is because I have done so many things before that my soul is conflicted and confused at the thought of having to choose only one now. This sounds a bit mad and honestly it could just be wishful thinking, but there’s always been a part of me that believes in past lives and I find myself discovering more and more little clues that support this idea as each day passes.

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Hope you don’t think me too crazy after these musings!

love as always

Millie x

Normal?

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There’s nothing ordinary about being normal. Nothing boring, nothing mundane nothing wrong. The word normal implies you are not your own person, that you are nothing special- a clone who isn’t thinking for them self or doing anything worthwhile. This is just not true. It is my belief that we are all normal, especially in the sense that we all try so desperately not to be. We cling to this idea that we are different to everyone else around us and in some ways yes we are each completely different from each other but in others we are simply the same.

Don’t cling to the idea that not being normal makes you better than everyone else because no human being is better than any other human being. Be yourself always but don’t worry about being normal or not because it is a subjective term which in reality applies to each and every person on this planet. No matter what you do.

Millie x

These things will change

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I find an old photo.

I sit there and look at this photo. A sweet young girl stares back at me with a bright beaming smile in her face that let’s me know that something terribly exciting must’ve happened because only something amazing could warrant such a heartfelt smile. This girl, with her topknot of slightly curly hair and chubby cheeks and eyes that seem a million colours all at once, is a stranger to me. Yet at some time or other she was me and I her. It stirs up a strange morbid feeling in me that I can’t remember ever being that girl and in just years we have gone from being the same person to totally different ones.

As I straighten my shirt in the mirror and try in vain to make my now flat hair a bit more thick-looking, I take a good look at myself. How long will it be before I can’t remember being this girl? Will I one day look back and see the girl I am now as a stranger but for the multicoloured eyes looking back at me?

Right now I feel good, not great mind but good. And the idea that one day this girl will be so different that she may hardly recognise her past self terrifies me.

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Millie xx

Reading ‘them’

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Probably one of the most asked questions of all time- “do they like me?”. The question no one else can answer except them themselves.

I always thought I could read people well. Up untill I first had a crush on someone. In a world becoming more and more casual about romance, reading someone for signs of affection is becoming harder and harder. We live in a world now where presents aren’t promises and kisses aren’t contracts, so there really is no way to know if someone likes you unless you ask them. A smile to you could mean something completely different to them, same with a hug, a kiss, or more.

Trouble is a lot of people (myself included) aren’t comfortable being so forward and confident for fear of rejection. We would rather hope from afar so that being shot down isn’t so direct and painful.

I would like to encourage my fellow shy girls and boys to be more confident. There’s no feeling worse than that of wondering what could’ve been. You may as well just go for it!

Be confident! Be yourselves! And try not to worry :)

Millie x

An ordinary life

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We are told from a young age that we should always aim high and try to become accomplished. If a child said they wanted to become a doctor when they were older the parents would be thrilled and would encourage them to pursue this goal, whereas something like a shop owner would be less celebrated.

It seems to be that a future has to be full of education and traveling to be deemed extraordinary and accomplished by the world. But to me there is nothing ordinary about a single mother working three jobs and still managing to take her kids to football practice. To me that is as accomplished and extraordinary as any degree holder, or student traveling the world to “find themselves”

We should celebrate the ‘ordinary’ because a lot of it is really something special. We need to re evaluate our perceptions on what makes an accomplished person and start to see all aspects of achievement not just the obvious.

Love as always

Millie x

Every person is a possibility

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A trait I always admire in someone is the ability to look at someone with an open mind. We all start to judge someone the moment we meet them but what I love is the kind of person who can push away any negative thoughts they get about someone when they first meet them (be it their obscure fashion sense or their smelly breath) and give them the benefit of the doubt. Just be positive and try to learn who they really are, and celebrate their attractive features rather than zone in on their flaws.

We all feel so self conscious about how we look now, and that is due to a multitude of things but I think it all comes down to the fact that we care what others think about our looks. If we could be more open minded and try see people from the inside perhaps people would stop going to such extreme lengths to change the way they look. Because everyone is beautiful. I know everyone says it but it’s true, and when you see someone for who they are rather than what they look like, their personality sort of becomes them and it creates beauty far beyond any cosmetic.

In a world with so many things battering us I want to spread the positivity. Life is too short to work yourself up over negative things about someone. Or about you. As obvious as it sounds It will bring you so much more happiness focusing on the good things. 

Stay positive and be happy :)

Millie x