Reading ‘them’

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Probably one of the most asked questions of all time- “do they like me?”. The question no one else can answer except them themselves.

I always thought I could read people well. Up untill I first had a crush on someone. In a world becoming more and more casual about romance, reading someone for signs of affection is becoming harder and harder. We live in a world now where presents aren’t promises and kisses aren’t contracts, so there really is no way to know if someone likes you unless you ask them. A smile to you could mean something completely different to them, same with a hug, a kiss, or more.

Trouble is a lot of people (myself included) aren’t comfortable being so forward and confident for fear of rejection. We would rather hope from afar so that being shot down isn’t so direct and painful.

I would like to encourage my fellow shy girls and boys to be more confident. There’s no feeling worse than that of wondering what could’ve been. You may as well just go for it!

Be confident! Be yourselves! And try not to worry :)

Millie x

An ordinary life

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We are told from a young age that we should always aim high and try to become accomplished. If a child said they wanted to become a doctor when they were older the parents would be thrilled and would encourage them to pursue this goal, whereas something like a shop owner would be less celebrated.

It seems to be that a future has to be full of education and traveling to be deemed extraordinary and accomplished by the world. But to me there is nothing ordinary about a single mother working three jobs and still managing to take her kids to football practice. To me that is as accomplished and extraordinary as any degree holder, or student traveling the world to “find themselves”

We should celebrate the ‘ordinary’ because a lot of it is really something special. We need to re evaluate our perceptions on what makes an accomplished person and start to see all aspects of achievement not just the obvious.

Love as always

Millie x

Every person is a possibility

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A trait I always admire in someone is the ability to look at someone with an open mind. We all start to judge someone the moment we meet them but what I love is the kind of person who can push away any negative thoughts they get about someone when they first meet them (be it their obscure fashion sense or their smelly breath) and give them the benefit of the doubt. Just be positive and try to learn who they really are, and celebrate their attractive features rather than zone in on their flaws.

We all feel so self conscious about how we look now, and that is due to a multitude of things but I think it all comes down to the fact that we care what others think about our looks. If we could be more open minded and try see people from the inside perhaps people would stop going to such extreme lengths to change the way they look. Because everyone is beautiful. I know everyone says it but it’s true, and when you see someone for who they are rather than what they look like, their personality sort of becomes them and it creates beauty far beyond any cosmetic.

In a world with so many things battering us I want to spread the positivity. Life is too short to work yourself up over negative things about someone. Or about you. As obvious as it sounds It will bring you so much more happiness focusing on the good things. 

Stay positive and be happy :)

Millie x

Wondering

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Don’t die wondering

Everyone wonders
There is no stopping that so very human habit of wanting to change the unchangeable, of wondering what things might be like had we done something differently. This can range from something massive to something mundane but it happens everyday and to every one of us. This will always be the case because no human being is perfect, no human being makes no mistakes. We all do things we regret and that’s okay, it’s what makes us real. It’s okay to want to change something we did wrong, it means we’ve acknowledged the wrongdoing, that it’s altered us and made us a better person.

Just don’t sit wondering over “What if’s” for the rest of your life, get out there, change things and make sure you make decisions that mean you have as few “What if’s” as possible afterwards. Because that is the point of these mistakes that we make, they happen to give us motivation to do better, to make us learn and become better people because of them.

Everyone wonders but there is wondering and then there’s obsessing. Make sure you can distinguish between the two. Don’t get caught in your past, don’t let it rule you. Live for the now and for the future.

Dont die wondering!

Millie x

 

Don’t believe everything you think.

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Don’t believe everything you think.

I came across this quote whilst browsing the web, I couldn’t find out who said it but I think it’s very important. Our minds race each day, constantly thinking, deciding, analysing and taking in new information but sometimes they tend to lose their grasp on what’s important or what they truly believe.

We need to make sure that in the midst of all our daily deducing we manage to still keep a grip on reality and on ourselves. Don’t lose yourself in your musings or take every thought that passes through your brain as gospel. It’s okay to think things you don’t really mean, just make sure you know which thoughts those are. 

Much love as always

Millie x

Divorce is hard but it’s okay

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I’m going to do something now I’m terrified of. This is the story of my parents divorce. I’m doing this solely to try and help those with separated parents not feel alone. It’s gonna be long but it’s something that in so many ways has defined who I am now so I feel it deserves to be on my blog. I’m not looking for pity, I’m hoping to reach someone who needs to know they’re not alone.

I was almost six when it happened and honestly I don’t remember much of it. I guess I was too young. It was like one day we were all together and the next my dad was gone, living with a woman I’d never met and her kids. I guess I’m sort of glad I have very few horrible memories of their break up, I just have one awful memory of my mum screaming at my gran and running off crying into the bedroom. I remember just standing there in the hallway, so confused and feeling as small as I was and hearing my mothers sobs through the walls.

It wasn’t long after that that me my bother and my mum moved out of out country life in West Sussex, and into the city of Nottingham to live with our gran. It was odd and exciting for me, new school, so big and different compared to the six classroom job in West Sussex. I’d had a few friends back there but no one I was extremely close to so it didn’t I didn’t feel that sad to leave. This place was new and I liked it. I made friends quickly and it seemed like it was going to be alright.

Except it wasn’t, and if I’m honest it still isn’t. Ten years later and things still aren’t settled between my parents. My dad got remarried and I have two step siblings and now a half Brother. I love him of course I do-just like I love my step siblings- he’s my beautiful half brother but that’s what he’ll always be. Half. I love my mum so much and I feel guilty to her for loving something tied to the family my dad made without us. But my dad is still my dad, and glen is still my half brother. And I still love them.

My whole family is split in half and always will be and I fear if they can’t be civil with each other after ten years then they never will be. I don’t know how it is for other people with divorced parents but this never seems to get easier for me. My mum gets so angry sometimes and my brother and I have to listen to her scream at us about how much of a pig everyone tied to my dad is. This happens way too often. Likewise my dad makes digging comments about my mum which he just expects me to agree with. Which he just goes by as if they are fact never mind what I say. I listen to them both complain about each other and try to turn me and my brother against the other and I just think “how did it get like this? Your love for each other created us and now no matter what you fight over us like vultures over a carcass.” I just can’t see why, after all this time, they can’t just let go and try to overcome their differences. Just enough for me and my brother to be able to love both of them without guilt.

Despite everything though, I think things happened for the best. I firmly believe and always will do that everything happens for a reason. Call it wishful thinking but it’s what I believe. My parents divorce has made me a stronger person, a better person, and without it I may never have moved to Nottingham and May never have met the wonderful people I have here. To those whose parents are separating I say I don’t know what will happen but you can let it and be made stronger because of it.